First Encounter Part One
By: The Kakeman
Caught With Their Pants Down
The 502nd platoon of Imperial Stormtroopers was sent to a forest moon to scout it out for possible base locations. When they touched down, they stumbled across the creatures. Ewoks. They were cute, furry creatures that were only knee high. They appeared harmless enough. Omar was an Imperial Stormtrooper, he knew better than to judge by appearances. Something small and furry could still pose a threat. He thought it would happen, he didn't think it would be so soon though. He was doing his business in a bush when he heard the screams and the blaster fire. He immediately jumped up and ran towards the Ewok camp, blaster rifle in hand. When Omar stepped into the clearing, he was shocked to see the bodies of his fellow troopers scattered all over the forest floor. Either their bodies had spears sting out of the armor joints or they had been stoned to death. Omar found his commanding officer's body. He'd had his armor off. The little devils had stuck him all over with what looked like dozens of spears. Omar noticed everywhere he looked no soldier had a helmet. What could they possibly want with our helmets he wandered. He heard a stick snap in the bushes behind him. Spinning around he brought his blaster rifle to bear where an Ewoks head would be. Instead of an Ewoks head, in his sights was a human groin.
"Whoa, don't shoot!" the newcomer exclaimed. Omar studied him. He was wearing a comm officer's uniform, he looked genuinely scared, but he wouldn't look at Omar. Sometimes Stormtroopers have that effect. Omar didn't care.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Well...um...the CO had too much ale...um...you know how he gets...well he tried to force himself on...uh...the Ewok princess."
"Oh. This story isn't going to end well."
"Yeah...uh...so he got caught and the rest of the story you can see." The comm officer finally looked him in the eye. "You do know that you're...uh...you know...not wearing pants, right?"
"Oh" Omar looked down. He was completely naked from the waist down. I knew I forgot something, he thought.
"Um, I'll be back." Omar ran back to get his pants. Well that was awkward, he thought as he found and put on his pants. He was on his way back when he heard more blaster fire, but this time it was coupled with Ewok screams. Omar checked his rifle and took off running toward the camp and the comm officer. He burst through a yorrik coral bush (what the heck?) and into the clearing. The comm officer was on the ground, a spear pinning him to the ground through his left thigh. He had a blaster pistol in his hand, shooting Ewoks. With each shot an Ewok fell, a smoking hole in their face. Omar watched in awe as three dozen Ewoks died by the comm officer's hand. Finally the Ewoks retreated, not wanting to lose any more comrades. Omar came out of his shock and realized he'd never fired a shot.
Later, when Omar was patching up the comm officer's leg, he asked "Why aren't you a stormtrooper? I've never seen anybody as good a shot."
The comm officer replied," I tried out but didn't make it. They told me I wasn't accurate enough."
"What?!" Omar Exclaimed.
"My name's Fuk by the way."
"What?!" Omar exclaimed.
"Fuk, my name." he said pointing to himself.
Omar shook his head. "Do you have a nickname or something I can call you?"
"Well my last name is Youu. Some of my friends call me Fube." Fuk said trying to help. Omar was now holding his head in his hands.
"Ok Fube. Glad to meet you."
"You to. So what's the plan? To get off the planet I mean." Fube asked.
"Well the only ship on this rock is the troop carrier we flew in here on. Those creatures know where it is so we'll have to fight our way to it. We'll have to wait until your leg heals enough for you to run. Until then we'll have to play hide and seek with these creatures." Omar said. He thought about the ship. He had left the cargo bay doors open when they were unloading the equipment. "Oh fu..."
Fube stared at him.
That could have been awkward. Omar thought. There was a noise in the forest in the woods behind Omar. Acting quickly Omar threw Fube over his shoulder and ran, pointing his rifle behind him and squeezing the trigger.
"You're not hitting anything." Omar heard Fube say. This is going to be a long journey Omar thought as he ran through another yorrik coral bush.(wait what the?)