~To Love~
By: Briar Solo


As I walk this path of destruction,

And listen to the mournful cries,

I think of you, my love,

Plotting my own demise.

I never said, "I love you."

I never said, "Be mine."

I never said, "I do."

I unfortunently saw you cry.

I felt your pain,

I felt your sorrow,

I sensed your agitation,

Your fear of tomorrow.

Is this how it feels?

This foreign ache?

A painful gash,

A blood-filled lake?

My world grows smaller,

My eyes decive,

I sense your anger,

Your anger, with me.

I'm sorry I could not be by your side,

I'm sorry I left you, while you cried,

I'm sorry I couldn't say sorry.

Sorry, before I died.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Jaina Solo opened the door to her parent's appartment slowly & timidly, tear stains apparent on her face. In front of her stood a squadron officer, dressed in full army attire, clasping a small envolope & package. He lifted his eyebrows. "Jaina Solo?"

"Yes, this is she?"

"This is a message for you from the New Republic Fleet." With a grim sigh, the officer turned & left down the turbo lift.

Jaina frowned & opened the envolope, still holding the package- & felt her soul drain away to nothing.

Dear Ms. Solo,

We offer you our utmost sympathy as we sorrowfully inform you of the death of your dear friend, Zekk. He was killed in action during an air raid on Corellia. We are proud to say that before his death, he succeeded in planting a bomb in the enemy base, destroying all of the harmful chemicals which were to be used to wipe out the entire population on Coruscant. His memorial is being held at 20:28 pm at Coruscant Funeral Homes.

We regret to say that his body was never recovered. Merely his cap, which has been encased inside the package that has, hopefully, arrived with this message. There was a letter inside the cap which he had intended to send to you after the battle, but wasn't able to.

Our regrets,

New Republic Fleet

Jaina closed her eyes slowly & slumped back against the wall of the appartment, crumbling the letter up in her fist, fighting back the tears that stung at her eyes. Zekk. Oh God, he was dead! No!

With trembling fingers, she tore into the package & pulled out his tattered army cap, holding it up at eye level. "Corporal Solo?" she whispered in surprise. "Solo?" He'd used our name?

There was a faint crinkling sound from within the cap, & Jaina turned it upside down, plucking a sheet of yellowed paper from underneath the visor. After unfolding it, she began to read what Zekk had written before he died:

To my dear Jaina,

Things aren't going so well here on Corellia. There have been lots of air raids & shellings like you wouldn't believe. Everytime I stick my head out of my fox hole, either Raynar flips or Jacen goes biserk & starts singing. So I tend not to leave the fox hole.

I know I was rude to you before I left. God, I had no right to. I'm so sorry. I wish I had never said anything like that to you. Because, even though I couldn't admit it to myself, or you, I love you. And when I get back, I'm going to say so to your face & apologize for everything I've ever done wrong.

I can't take back what I said. I know that's impossible. And I know I've probably left a perminent imprint of hurt in your mind. I wish I could erase it. Maybe I will someday. But I can't say anymore now. Second Platoon has to shove off. That'd be me.

I love you Jaina. I always will. Forever. I'll see you in my dreams.

Forever yours,

Zekk

* * * * * * * * * * *

If I could turn back time,

So I could see your face,

Linger on every gesture,

Your hair as soft as lace,

I'd erase the pain I've caused you,

The havoc I've ensued,

I'd delete my every word,

How could I be so crude?

But what's done is done; I can't go back,

To soothe the wounds I wish you'd lack,

Your emotional blood dries on my fingers,

I've left scars on your soul.

Someday, many years from now,

You'll look back on my memory,

And you'll wonder why you didn't know how,

To understand me more clearly.

I never wanted to hurt you,

I never wanted to harm you,

I never meant to scare you,

I never meant to scar you.

But now I'm gone,

And you live on,

In pain from my very words.

But you live on,

And I am gone,

And you heal from my very words.

I'm sorry I could not be by your side,

I'm sorry I left you, while you cried,

I'm sorry I couldn't say sorry,

Sorry, before I died.


Send feedback to the author here.