(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or the whole MST idea. Any comments made about the author aren't meant to be hurtful in anyway, it's just for fun. The authors of this badfic is Kendra and Rebecca .
Mild swearing warning, but nothing earth shattering. If you can watch TV, you can read this.)


Everyone's sitting around, not doing anything. Lando appears on screen, sans Callista.

Mara: Did Callista finally get a clue?

Lando: Oh my beloved Mara: A thousand times I hath dreamed of this selfsame moment in time, for to me your absence is like a-

Luke: Lando, I don't know what you're saying, and I don't care, but if you ever come anywhere near my wife so help me I'll-

Lando: Point taken. Callista's meeting with some people from the credit card company and told me to give you all the story.

Lowie: So, you're saying she's gone because of you're shopping disaster?

Lando (sobs): It's not my fault! I just *had* to buy them!

Anja: Okay now, cry on your own time, we gotta get this over with. Lando (still sniffling) nods and brings the story on screen in place of himself.

>> The Begining of the Trekkies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mara: This is never a good sign.

Zekk: Not to offend any fans, but Star Trek really does suck.

Jaina: You mean because of the lame special affects, or the lack thereof?

Jacen: The oatmeal-on-the-face instead of something that actually looks cool?

Tenel Ka: Watch it, Jacen. Your mother did have cinnamon buns on her ears in "A New Hope".

Luke: Yeah, but at least there was always food on the set.

>>Everyone is sitting by a river when Anja pricks her finger on a porcupine quill. She bleeds tu death!!!!!!!!!!!

Anja: How did I bleed to death from a porcupine quill?

Lowie: Anja, please, you're dead, don't spoil the moment.

>>Zekk and Jacen try tu bring her back tu life by kissin her!!!!!!!

Tenel Ka: Jacen! Didn't I warn you about that?

Jacen: It's not my fault! Don't hurt me, hurt the authors! Besides, Zekk was in on it too!

Zekk: Don't even try to bring me down with you.

Jaina: You shouldn't sound so confident Zekk, you're only saved because I know you'll make it up to me later.

>>Jaina and Tenel Ka get angry and beat them up!!!!

Tenel Ka: And they deserve it!

>>"Take that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

Luke: I get the point! You don't need to be so redundant all the time! Say it once, and only one "!" is needed!

>>and that!!!

>>Lowie nephew of the great wonderful magnificint awesome Chewie walks by!!!!!!!

Lowie: And here I thought I'd been spared.

>> and That!!!!

>> Take that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

>>and that!!!

>>and That!!!!"

Anja: Wait, during all of the taking of that, I forgot what was going on!

Mara: There was something going on?

Anja: Shouldn't there have been?

Mara: Not in this story

>>The boys are mistereiously transported tu Endor

Luke: Because with out extremely advanced technology we can do stuff like that.

Jaina: No we can't.

Luke: Sarcasm Jaina, sarcasm.

>>where they are kidnapped by Ewoks who are singing"Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum" and just as they were about tu be eatin they are transported to Earth!!!!!!!

Jacen: What just happened?

Zekk: We may never know.

>>Where they become singing purple and green dinosaurs this is theyre favorite song.

>>I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

Tenel Ka: That's you two's favorite song?

Lowie: That song sucks!

Jacen: It's not me; it's those authors. Can't you see I hate it too?

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

Luke: Make it stop! It's killing me!

Mara: Don't you worry Luke, it's gotta be almost over.

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

Luke: I can feel my brain shriveling.

Mara: It'll be okay, there's not much in there to shrivel anyway.

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

>> I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

>> THE END

Jaina: Finally!

>> Epilogue

Mara (taking out her blaster): All right. When I see these authors, I *will* hurt them!

Luke: You're a fictional character, you can't do that.

Mara: I'll find a way.

>> Jaina and Tenel Ka come tu Earth and become Deedude and Deedette on Dexter's Laboratory!!!!

Zekk: Who's Dexter?

Jacen: My girlfriend becomes a Dee what?

>> They go around singing LALALALALALALALALLALALALALA!!!!!

Jaina: I have a hard time imagining Tenel Ka singing any kind of "La La".

>> and saying Can I push this button??????

>> What does this button do?????

Tenel Ka: Why would I care about what a bunch of buttons do?

Anja: Why do I always die? It's the deranged authors, not us!

>> But they decide that they aren't being payed enough so in their maniac depression the create the TV show STAR TREK!!!!!!!

Jaina: Star Trek sucks! Now I see where that title comes in!

Mara: If these authors are Trekkies, I will have to hurt them *badly*.

Luke: It's not the Trekkie's fault, they've been brainwashed.

Jacen: Uncle Luke, they've gotten to you too! Don't you know that everything the fault of Trekkies? Why, if the three fans that Trek started out with hadn't recruited unknowing others we wouldn't be in this position!

>> TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!?

Lowie: And if this isn't the end, someone will be losing an arm.

Callista appears on screen. Lando can be heard, (but not seen) crying in the background.

Callista: Did you like it?

Luke: It almost killed me!

Callista: Well, you know you'll never have to go through that again if you leave Mara and come to me.

Mara: I really hate to keep disappointing you Callista, but Luke stays with me.

Callista (very angrily): I have had *enough* of you! I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!

Mara: I don't have a dog.

Callista: Fine, I'll get you and your little cat too!

Mara: I don't have a cat either.

Callista: Then what do you have?

Mara (considering): A goldfish.

Callista: What? I can't say "I'll get you my pretty, and your little goldfish too!". You see, it just doesn't flow.

Mara: You can't say that anyway; it's copyright infringement.

Callista: Copyright infringement? Who cares?

Zekk: Apparently they do.

A pair of well dressed young people, presumably lawyers, approach Callista.

Lawyer #1: We're sorry ma'am, but you're going to have to come with us.

Callista: Mara, just for this I'm going to make the next one *really* bad!

Mara: And how exactly do you plan on doing that?

Callista: I'm going to send you -(pauses dramatically)- spam!


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