(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or the whole MST idea. Any comments made about the author aren't meant to be hurtful in anyway, it's just for fun.
Mild swearing warning, but nothing earth shattering. If you can watch TV, you can read this.)
Everyone's sitting around the main room, doing pretty much nothing. Jacen is braiding Tenel Ka's hair, and Tenel Ka seems somewhat worried about the consequences. Luke is asleep, and snoring loudly. Mara has invested in earplugs, which the others seem to be jealous of.
Callista appears on the screen with Lando at her side.
Callista: Hello, my prisoners. I have something for you to read.
Mara: Callista, this is childish. Will you please come to your senses and-
Callista: No, I will not. If this is how I'm going to be treated then I'll just leave.
The screen starts to flicker out, but then comes back.
Callista: I almost forgot, wake up Luke. As much as I love him he has to go through this too.
Luke: I'm awake, and have been since I heard the voice of the most beautiful creature in the galaxy.
Callista: Why, Luke, if I had know then-
Mara: Shut up Callista, he's talking about me.
Mara and Luke do the goo-goo eyes thing. Everyone else gags for a minute and then gets over it.
Callista: Fine then, enjoy your story!
The image of Callista on the screen is replaced by text.
Jacen: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Jaina: Stop that! We've got too many over-used catch phrases as it is, don't drag that one out of the closet!
>>Jaina Solo was sitting on the temple one day thinkiing: does Zekk love me as much as I love him? I will ask.
>>So Jaina got up and went to go find Zekk. She found him.
Jaina: Do I really need to point out what's wrong with those first few lines?
Zekk: No, I think it's fairly obvious.
>>"Zekk, Zekk, there is something I must know." Jaina said.
>>"What is it Jaina?" asked Zekk.
>>"Do you love me Zekk?" Jaina asked him.
Jaina: Because that is the kind of thing someone would ask without any kind of warning, or any prior thought.
Jacen: There was prior thought
Jaina: You consider that `thought'?
Jacen: Well, no, but it's your character that's stupid enough to ask it.
Jaina: Just wait until we get to you.
>>"OH OF COURSE I LOVE YOU" SCREAMED ZEKK.
Zekk: Why am I screaming?
Jaina: Proclaiming your love for me gives you a happy?
Zekk: I guess.
>>"YIPPIE! LET'S GET MARRIED" JAINA SCREAM BACK.
Jaina: That is so not how we got together.
Zekk: Yeah, and why are we in all caps?
Jaina: To emphasize the screaming, of course.
Zekk: For those who can't understand how screaming alone can be irritating?
Jaina: No, just the author who can't get a point across unless it's in all caps.
>>Jacen was in his room with his animals. He was feeding his animals. Jacen likes his animals. Then one of his animals bite him. Jacen said "ow" and gave the animal that bited him more food.
Jacen: Why do I have to be in this story! I thought it was about you two! (pointing to Jaina and Zekk)
Zekk: Misery loves company.
>>"that will keep you from biting me" said Jacen.
>>Then Tenel Ka came into Jacen room. This made Jacen happy. Jacen loved Tenel Ka but she did not know.
Tenel Ka: Damn it! Should of know I'd get tied in if he was there.
Jacen: I love you too, Tenel Ka.
>>"Tenel KA!" he says "what are you doing here?"
>>Tenel Ka looks at Jacen. She thinks he is so cute. "I am here Jacen. " she says because she is nervous but is good at not showing nervous.
>>"Ok." said Jacen. he stared at Tenel Ka because he think she is pretty. He think about telling her but he is scared she will beat him up because she is very very very very very very much stronger than him.
Luke: Only one `very' needed to get the point across.
Jacen: And that's not true! I'm just as strong as-
Tenel Ka: Jacen? Think about what you're saying before I hurt you.
Jacen: Ok, so you're stronger. But I'm pretty buff, I've been working out, right?
Tenel Ka (laughing to herself): Whatever you say.
>>Tenel Ka take a deap breath. She is going to tell Javen she likes him. "Jacen" she say "I think you are cute."
>>"REally?" Jacen is surprised. He decide to tell Tenel Ka how he feel because if she gets mad at him then he can run away like the girly boy his is. "I think you are pretty."
Jacen: Hey! I am _not_ a girlie boy! I wouldn't run away either.
Tenel Ka: It's ok, the author probably doesn't like you.
Jacen: Why not?
Jaina: Oh, I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with your stuffed wookiee doll that you _still_ insist on sleeping with?
Jacen: Kick me while I'm down. Thanks, sis.
Jaina: I do try.
>>Tenel Ka smile. "This is a fact." She said.
Anja: Just a little bit conceited, aren't we, Tenel Ka?
Tenel Ka: No, just you.
>>Jacen get very very very nervous. "Tenel Ka," he say "Will you marry me?"
>>Tenel Ka smile some more. "yes I marry you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she yells.
Luke: I hate that! One `very' is all I need to know to understand that he's nervous! And only one `!' too!
Mara: Don't stress over it; grammar is obviously something this author lacks and you'll probably see that again.
Luke: That's not very reassuring.
>>Lowie was alone. Lowie did not like his aloneness. Lowie missed Raaba, but Raaba is not where Lowie is. Lowie is alone.
Lowie: We have established the fact that I am alone. Need we rub it in anymore?
>>Lowie droid emteedee start to tskl.
Jaina: What the hell does "tskl" mean?
Jacen: Does the author mean to imply that Lowie is a droid? It's just the author's lack of proofreading, or the author's not as smart as we previously thought.
Tenel Ka: You thought the author was smart?
Jacen: No, I thought the author was stupid. Lowering that standard by calling the author less intellectually proficient than before is the insult I was trying to inflict.
Anja: You failed miserably.
Jacen: Shut up.
>> It say "I am fluent in over six million forms of commuincation."
>>Lowie get mad at droid and smash droid. Now Lowie is bored because he kill emteedee.
Lowie: Bored? Thankful would be a realistic reaction followed by guilt and inevitable reassembly of that annoying little droid.
>> Then Raaba ship cash in front of Lowie. Lowie scream "OH NO MY BELOVED RAABA IS DEAD" Then Raaba come out of shipwreck.
Mara: Keeping in mind that when a _space_ ship crashes, it is not referred to as a shipwreck, I remind everyone here that the survival rate of surviving a crash from the model ship that Raaba flies is less than one percent.
>>Raaba scream "NO I STILL ALIVE. NO ONE EVER DIE. I COME BACK TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVES YOU LOWIE"
>>LOWIE SCREAMS "I LOVE YOU TO"
Luke: Again with the screaming and the all capitals. We do get the point, you know.
Zekk: Who are you talking to?
Luke: Um. . . no one?
>>Anja was sitting by the river.
Anja: And here I thought I'd been spared.
Jaina: Spared? Anja, need I remind you that a vast majority of our fans would love to see something terrible happen to you? I don't think you will ever be `spared'.
>> anja was plotting on how to get jacen and zekk to forget about tenel ka and jaina. Then Anja get idea.
Jacen: Rare as the occurrence is. . .
Jacen: Sorry, just my well hidden hate for you saying hello.
>> She will get forget potion and give to jacen and zekk
Tenel Ka: I believe the author means a type of amnesia, although Anja doesn't take into account that they wouldn't remember her either.
>> Anja get so happy that she fall in river and a big fish eat her. Anja is dead.
Anja: Thus contradicting the previous statement that no one ever dies. But of course everyone hates me, so I just _have_ to die. What did I do wrong? I'm the first source of real conflict in the relationships, and in the end I bring everyone closer together, but does anyone see that? No. . . They all want to kill me because I spent some time with Jacen and Zekk! Is what I did really so terrible? Hell, it wasn't even me doing anything! It was KJA's warped little brain controlling me! It's not my fault-
Mara: We get the point. At least he didn't stick you with _Lando_. I'll never live that down!
>>Jaina and Zekk and Jacen and Tenel Ka and Lowie and Raaba find anja body.
Zekk: Would a comma be to much to ask for?
Jaina: Probably so. I don't think the author knows what a comma is.
Anja: How'd you guys find my body? I thought I got eaten by a fish.
Jacen: The fish might of spit you out upon discovering how bad you taste.
>> Everyone is very very very very very very very very very very very very happy because Anja is dead.
Luke: Again with the repeated `very's! We understand one, no need for twelve!
>> They all get married that day.
Jaina: Of course our parents would approve. They might even be kind enough to _not_ disown us for getting married without their knowledge and consent.
Lowie: Don't get our hopes up like that!
>>Jaina and Zekk have 263756986 kids. Jaina get real tired.
Jaina: I get "real tired"?! Some people just don't understand women! Imagine having a kidney stone. Imagine passing that kidney stone. Hurts, doesn't it? Now magnify that tiny, barely a centimeter squared, stone into an eight pound monstrosity! Or if imaging a kidney stone isn't feasible, then simply pull your lower lip over your head. It's not the same effect, and it's a lot less painful, but it'll still hurt like hell.
>>Tenel Ka and Jacen have 309548745 kids. Jacen get real tired because Tenel Ka has better thing to do than babysit but jacen don't.
Jacen: Why does this author hate me?
Tenel Ka: I think the author hates me and Jaina more. Look at all those children!
Jacen: But we do have drugs and stuff that you could take, right?
Jaina: As Jedi, we have to do things the old fashioned way. Well, we don't have to, but it's cheaper without the drugs.
>>Raaba and Lowie can't have kids because Raaba tubes are tided.
Lowie: At least Raaba has been spared. . .
But they adopted 43876587959875987 kids and are both real tired.
Lowie: Maybe not. . .
>>Anja still dead.
Anja: There was a chance I would come back from the dead?
>>THE END (!!!!!! for real this time!!!!! )
Luke: Agh! Why repeat "!"! Is that really necessary?
Before anyone can reply, Callista appears on the screen.
Callista: Well, I hope you're all nauseated enough to convince Luke to come back with me.
Mara: Sorry Callie, but Luke's staying with me. If you're going to try to convince him to be with you like this then you're going to have to find stories that are worse than that one.
Callista (frowns): Very well then. The next story will be bad enough to get him to change his mind! (Callista laughs as her image fades from the screen)
Anja: Thank you, Mara! Now we're going to have to go through that again.
Mara: Be quiet. If I bother her enough then Callista'll cave. She doesn't do so well under pressure.
Jaina: I hope you're right.