(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or the whole MST idea. Any comments made about the author aren't meant to be hurtful in anyway, it's just for fun. The authors of these two stories are Karan and Kendra, by order of stories.
Mild swearing warning, but nothing earth shattering. If you can watch TV, you can read this.)
The only people in the main room are Tenel Ka and Jacen. Everyone else is off doing whatever it is they do when they aren't being written about. Jacen's sitting on the floor, and Tenel Ka's on a laptop computer next to him. Tenel Ka: No, no, no! Stupid people, make up your minds!
Jacen: The who and the what now?
Tenel Ka (glances up from her computer screen): These fan fiction writers! It's all because of KJA's little `let's cut of Tenel Ka's arm off so I can have a semi-original plot thing'! If I don't have an arm already by my amazing regenerative powers, I've got a prosthetic. Or they don't even mention it! It's so irritating.
Jacen: So what'd the person who's writing us now stick you with?
Tenel Ka: Apparently she couldn't make up her mind; it seems to flicker in and out of existence.
Jacen: How's she justifying that?
Tenel Ka: She lives in her world, and the Star Wars canon is in another.
Jacen: Where does that leave us?
Tenel Ka: We go back and forth.
The screen on the far side of the room lights up, and Callista appears.
Callista: Well? Where is everybody?
Jacen: Dunno. We don't exactly have set meeting times, and we try to avoid being in the same room together simultaneously.
Callista: So go get them!
Jacen: I can't.
Tenel Ka: Why not?
Jacen: That would require getting up.
Callista: Ok, Tenel Ka, you get everyone.
Tenel Ka: He's closer.
Jacen: But I'm so tired!
Callista: Tired from what? All you do there is eat, sleep, and complain. Doesn't seem like very hard work to me.
Jacen (mutters): Slave driver.
Jacen gets up and leaves to call the others. When he returns, Mara and Luke are noticeably absent.
Callista: Jacen, where's my Luke?
Jacen (looks uncomfortable): Um, he and aunt Mara were kind in the middle of something, they'll be here in a second.
Callista: In the middle of what?
Jaina: Come on, Callista. They are married.
Just as smoke begins to rise from Callista's ears, Luke and Mara appear, looking somewhat disheveled.
Callista: That's it! You're just going to *hate* this story.
Without another word, Callista closes her connection and the first lines of a story come onto the screen.
>>All the YJKs are eating and a big ship appears over head.
>>All:* look up*
Lowie: Failing to mention of course, that there *is* a ceiling in the cafeteria, but I guess that's just a moot point.
Zekk: What kind of point?
Lowie: It's when- Oh, nevermind.
Anja: What's the title?
Mara: I don't think there is a title.
Luke: It's probably better that way.
>>Jaina:...Wow.....Big ship..Real Big Ship..That Ship is Really Big
Jacen: Seem's your a bit lacking in the vocab department, sis.
Jaina: You do of course know that `yah' is not an actual word, right?
Jaina: That's not a word either.
Jacen: I'll shut up now.
Zekk: Sure, that's what you said last time.
>>Tenel Ka:*slaps Jacen* Don't act like a Vally Girl. Thats my thing. You can't have it.
Tenel Ka: I'm not a valley girl!
Anja: You are at heart, and that's all that matters.
Lowie: That makes *no* sense.
Anja: That's not the point.
Lowie: Then what is the point?
Tenel Ka: The point is at the end of my dagger, and if you aren't careful I'll make it quite clear.
Luke: What dagger?
Tenel Ka: You heard nothing.
>>Zekk: That is a cool ship.....Hay that ship is pretty big.
>>Anja:*thinks: I wounder if I can steal that ship*
Mara: How do you plan on stealing it if it's not on the ground?
Anja: I don't know; don't treat me as if I actually identify with the character the author's writing about!
Jaina: Anja, you *are* the character the author's writing about.
>> Lowie:* growls*
>>Jacen: What did he say?
>>MTD:No comment.. thats what he said. I belive that he was referring to Master Zekks comment that the ship was big. I have no idea why he would say no comment but he did.
Lowie: That makes some good sense.
Tenel Ka: Point taken, let us all move on.
>>*The Really Big Cool Ship starts to fire on the temple*
Luke: Good, maybe we'll all die and this story will end!
>>Zekk: We're Gonna Die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Jaina: Is that a question?
Zekk: No, just a typo.
>>Jacen:I agree. Lets run! *Yanks Zekk in to the Jungle and fall over a tree log and break thier legs*
Jaina: You just broke my boyfriend's legs!
Jacen: Did not! He fell over all by himself.
Zekk: You grabbed me! Wait no, that doesn't sound right. . .
Tenel Ka: Who's `Me'?
Mara: I'm going to assume it's the author.
Lowie: So it's like a self insertion thing?
Luke: Might be, but I hope not.
>>*huge creatures come and eat Zekk and Jacen and Anja cries and Tenel Ka kills the realy big creatures and Jaina helps her.*
Jaina: You just got my boyfriend killed!
Jacen: Did not! The monsters ate him. And me, *and* my legs are broken. I'm not doing any better than he is, K?
Lowie: Where did I go? I seem to stop existing in most of these stories.
Mara: That's probably a good thing.
Lowie: True. But it does kinda hurt my feelings.
>> Tenel Ka:Now we have to save the Temple from being blown uo to ity bity pieces. Anja stop crying you sissy. Your worse than Jacen.
>> Anja: *hits Tenel Ka for calling her a sissy and they git into a big fight and Jaina gets in the middle and kills Anja*
Anja: *Your* feelings are hurt? I just got killed! How do you think *I* feel?
Tenel Ka: But you don't *have* feelings.
Anja: But for argument's sake, say that I did. . .
>>Tenel Ka:YOU KILLED HER!!!YIPPY YIPPY!!! *Dances*
Jacen: You're happy about Anja's death?
Tenel Ka: Wouldn't you be?
>> Jaina:Oh what have I done? *cries*
>> Tenel Ka: Another Jacen! Okay I think we have to git rid of the body. *Throws anjass body into a bottom less pit that came from no where.
>>Jaina:Okay I'm all better. I hate Anja. I never relized how fun it is to say that. I HATE ANJA!
>>Jaina and Tenel Ka:I HATE ANJA!I HATE ANJA!I HATE ANJA! Elle Es Stupide! Elle Es Stupide!(She is stupid!) *Jaian and Tenel Ka go off and fight a big battle with the really big cool ship and win* Yippy!
Anja: I feel loved. . .
>> Tenel Ka:Yippy
Mara: Is that the end?
Luke: Think so.
Mara: That wasn't so bad.
Just then, another story begins to scroll down the screen.
Jaina: Don't you know that whenever some one says `that wasn't so bad' something even *worse* happens?
Mara: You learn something new everyday, I guess.
Lowie: I think I'll just die now. . .
>>HI! mOM WHAT IS FOR LUNCH? ASK jAINA
>>sPAM! wONDERFUL NUTRISIOUS sPAM.lEIA REPLY
Jaina: What the hell is `spam'?
Tenel Ka: I don't think I want to know.
>>aNGA IS SITTING IN A ROOM LAUGHING ABOUT HER DEVIOUS PLOT.
>>oH THIS IS PERFECT, SAY aNGA,tHE GALAXY IS MINE.aNYONE WHO EATS sPAMSTARTING TODAY WILL ALLOFASUDDEN BE CAREFREE HAPPY GO LUCKY PEOPLE.hA hAhA hA hA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luke: Stop the madness! Why is it all in caps?!
Anja: Who's Anga? I'm glad I'm not in this story
Tenel Ka: Sorry Anja, Anga's just another way to spell your name.
Anja: No it's not.
Jacen: It is now, *Anga*.
>>hELLO MOTHER CAN i HAVE SOME OF THAT sPAM?ASK jACEN. aND cAN zEKK HAVESOME TO?
Jacen: Was that me talking?
Zekk: Don't know, don't care.
>>wHY SURE. lEIA SINGS
Luke: Leia never sings, she's got an awful voice! And stop the all caps, I'm begging you!
Mara: Luke, sweetie, no one cares.
>>jACEN zEKK AND eVERYONE ELSE BUT tENEL ka AND jAINA EAT sPAM AND TURNINTO IRRESSPONSIBLE PEOPLE.aNJA RULE GALAXY.jAINA AND tENEL kA GO TONOTHER GALAXY.aNJA MARRIE jACEN.
Tenel Ka: You married *who*, Jacen?
Jacen: It's just a story!
Zekk: Sorry man, you're screwed.
Tenel Ka: I'm waiting for an answer. . .
Jacen: I'll buy you something really nice for your birthday, ok, Tenel Ka?
Tenel Ka: Ok, just one more thing.
Jacen: Anything for you, Tenel Ka.
Tenel Ka: When exactly *is* my birthday?
Jacen: Um. . .
Lowie: I wasn't even in that story! What am I, some kind of scenery?
Zekk: No one thinks of you as scenery, Lowie. . .
Lowie: Oh, and *you're* one to talk! I've got a relative in the trilogy, remember Chewie? But who's always going to be in a story? You! Why, someone might ask? Because there's a possible romance! Even though the most you get to Jaina in any of the canon books is "Zekk put his arm around Jaina", everyone goes crazy over it! I've got someone too, you know. Where are the stories about *me*?
Luke: Don't be offended; most authors out there just can't see a wookie as being a good love story vict-, er, *character*.
Mara: Two `e's in `wookiee'.
Luke: How can you tell when I'm talking?
Mara: I just do.
Luke: Oh. . .But it can be one `e' too, both are correct.
Lowie: Really. But I prefer two `e's.
Mara: I guess you'd know.
Callista appears on the screen.
Callista: So sorry to interrupt, but how did everyone like the stories?
Jaina: I hated them! It's not fair to send two at once!
Callista: Glad to hear it. Luke? Reconsidered my offer yet?
Luke: Callista, you can't actually expect me to be swayed by this stuff.
Callista: And why is that?
Mara: Because *we're* not in it! All we do is laugh at the misfortune of the others, which is pretty fun.
Callista: We'll see about that. Next time, there'll be a truly terrible story!
The screen goes dark, and everyone glares at Mara.
Mara: Oh, grow up. I'm just having fun.
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