I Don't Know You Anymore
By Jaina (Katie)

Note: This story takes place not after a particular book, but more like after the YJK have graduated. About a year after. Everyone went their separate ways. Jaina and Jacen become Jedi Knights, Tenel Ka, returns home to rule Hapes, Lowie goes home to visit family and Zekk, deciding that the Force just isn't his thing, goes off and becomes a freelance. Now, on the evening of the graduation, Jaina and Zekk did the dirty deed, the mattress mambo, whatever you want to call it, but let's just be adults and use the adult word for it. They had sex. The next morning, Zekk leaves without even saying goodbye. (So now everybody kinda hates Zekk.) Jaina tried to reach him almost every day, but he never responded to any of her holo letters, as usual. And this is when the story picks up. Jaina and Zekk meet in a bar, by coincidence, somewhere in the outer rim..

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me (except the ones I make up)they belong to Lucasfilm Ltd, and I'm not making any money...unfortunately.


* * * * * *

"Jaina Solo." Zekk said, amazed. "I never expected to see you again." He crossed his arms and gave her a hard stare.

Jaina stood her ground and just stared back. She wanted just to talk to him as a friend. If it hadn't been for the way things ended.

"You never fail to surprise me," Zekk said. He was slowly circling her. He looked her body up and down. She still looked as good as she had almost a year ago. He looked at her hair. The same brown, but longer now, slightly past her shoulder blades, adorned here and there with tiny braids, almost like Tenel Ka's but more decorative than symbolic.

"I must say, you haven't changed a bit." He said. He slowly drew his blaster and pointed it at her. Although he didn't actually intend to hurt her, he did want to scare her.

"Funny we should meet again, Zekk," Jaina spoke to him for the first time.

"And why is that?" Zekk asked her, holding his blaster steady.

"Because I was just on my way to Yavin IV to visit someone who might interest you." Jaina said.

"If you're talking about your uncle, I'm not interested. I don't do that Jedi thing anymore." Zekk told her, seeming irritated that she should bring up Yavin IV.

No, it's not my Uncle." Jaina told him. "It's someone you don't know yet."

Zekk tried not to let his curiosity show. Who could this person be? And why would Zekk be interested? "Who?" He asked.

"Oh, I really don't know if I should tell you.since you never bothered answering any of my holo letters." Jaina said.

"Jaina, I - " Zekk began.

"You don't have to explain." Jaina cut him off. " I know how it is."

Zekk sighed. He let his blaster fall. "Look, why don't I just come to Yavin IV with you and meet this mysterious person, okay?"

"Oh, I really don't know if you want to, though." Jaina was playing games with Zekk.

"Jaina, really. I think I should come." Zekk said. Even though he didn't really use the Force anymore, he could still sense that he needed to go to Yavin IV for some reason.

"Okay, if you insist." Jaina shrugged and looked away. "But you can't threaten me with your blaster anymore." She gestured to the gun he held at his hip.

"I promise." Zekk said, holstering it and holding up his hands in a truce/surrender.

Jaina smiled. "Set your course, I leave in one standard hour." The enemy-like feeling she had been getting from Zekk was slowly beginning to wash away.

"No problem," Zekk said.

Soon they were off and before Jaina knew it, it was time to drop out of hyperspace. She had reached Yavin IV with Zekk not far behind her. He still wondered who this mysterious person he should meet was. He would find out soon, though.

It was nearing sunset on the jungle moon as Jaina put her ship down on the landing pad. She walked down the ramp and Jacen greeted her at the bottom.

"It's good to have you back." Jacen said as he embraced her.

"I've brought someone along with me." Jaina told him, pulling back form the embrace. "It might be a bit of a surprise, but try to play it cool, okay?" Jaina finished just as Zekks ship became visible through the clouds.

Jacen scowled when he saw the Lightning Rod in the sky, but Jaina gave him a good elbow in the ribs and he feigned a smile as the old freighter touched down on the landing pad and Zekk came down the ramp.

Jacen greeted his old 'friend.' "Zekk, ol' buddy!" Jacen opened his arms and quickly embraced Zekk. "It's good to see you again! How are you?"

"I've been pretty good, actually," Zekk said. "How about yourself?'

"Not bad," Jacen told him.

"Jacen why don't you show Zekk to a vacant room while I go talk to Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara, okay?" Jaina said.

"Okay," Jacen nodded, and they went off to find a room.

As soon as they were out of sight, Jaina turned to find her aunt and uncle, a worried expression on her face. What was Zekk going to think about this? She was beginning to have regrets about ever telling him to come.

She reached her aunt and Uncles room and knocked. Mara answered the door.

"Jaina!" she exclaimed, hugging her. "How are you?"

"Good," Jaina answered. "Zekk is here, I want to tell him about."

"About the.?" Mara asked.

"Yeah," Jaina said.

"Come in." Mara pulled her into the room.

Meanwhile, Jacen showed Zekk to his room. As they walked back to find Jaina, Zekk talked to Jacen.

"Jaina told me there's someone I should meet." He told his friend. "Do you know who she's talking about?"

Jacen's eyes got big. "Uh...yeah, I do." He said.

"Who is it?" Zekk asked. They were approaching Mara and Luke's room.

"Um, I'll let Jaina tell you who." Jacen said.

They reached Mara and Luke's door. "Well, when will I get to met this person?" Zekk asked.

Jacen heard a baby's cry from inside the room. "Right now." He smiled sheepishly. Jacen Knocked, opened the door without waiting for a response and called: "Uncle Luke, Aunt Mara."

"Come in," Jacen heard Mara say from the living room of their large quarters.

"Come on," Jacen said as they walked in.

As he turned around the corner, Zekk saw Jaina sitting in a rocking chair, holding a tiny baby. He stopped and stared, astonished.

Jaina looked up from feeding the child and met Zekk's eyes. They held so many questions. She smiled slightly.

"Zekk, I want you to meet Noah." She stood and crossed to him "Your son." She said it softly, careful not to say it too bluntly.

Zekk just stared at this small child in Jaina's arms. He couldn't believe this. Jaina handed Noah to Zekk and he gently took him from her

"Mind his head," she told him as he took him form her.

He stared at the child, looking into its bright green eyes. The baby cooed up at him, smiling, giggling.

"My son." he whispered, tears coming to his eyes. He looked back at Jaina. "Our son." he said. A single tear ran down Jaina's cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Zekk asked her.

At this time, Mara, Luke, and Jacen excused themselves to let the two talk. Jaina wiped the tear away. "You never answered any of my messages." She told him. "I wanted to see you so I could tell you in person."

"Jaina, if I had known." Zekk began. He wasn't sure what to tell her. "I.I would have come back." He didn't know if it was a lie or not.

"I know, Zekk." Jaina sighed. "I know."

Zekk still stared at his young son. "How old is he?" he asked. He let Noah grab hold of his finger with his tiny hand.

"Almost 3 months." Jaina told him. "He stays here with Luke and Mara while I go on my missions." She explained.

"Do you see him often?" Zekk asked.

"This is my second time visiting since his birth," she said. "I wish I could be around all the time. To watch him grow. " She sat down and Zekk took a seat next to her on the sofa. Jaina looked at her son. "He likes you," she said, smiling a little.

It was quiet for a while as mother and father watched their son. After a long time, Zekk finally spoke.

"Jaina," he looked her in the eye. "That night before I left, what we did, if I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have done what we did. This is the last thing I wanted for you." Zekk brushed a few strands of brown hair away from Jaina's face. "I really mean that."

Jaina stared at Zekk. She wasn't sure she believed him or not. But how much she wanted to. Tears came to her eyes. She wasn't sure what to say or do.

Zekk sighed when he saw her tears. "Jaina." he whispered, wiping a tear off her cheek. Then he put his hand on the back of her neck, under her hair.

Jaina let herself fall into Zekk's strong embrace. She sobbed.

"What is it?" Zekk asked.

"I don't know.I just." she sobbed again.

Zekk squeezed her tighter. "okay, shhh." he soothed. He too shed a tear as he held Jaina in his arms. He couldn't bear to think that he had done this to her. He had stolen her innocence and burdened her with the responsibility of motherhood at such a young age. How would he be able to live with himself now? "I'm so sorry." He whispered after a long while. He kissed the top of her head as she cried on his shoulder.

"Zekk?" Jaina looked up at him.

"Yes?" he answered.

"What will happen now?" She asked him.

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"Will you stay here?" she asked.

There was a long pause before Zekk answered. "Jaina.I don't know. I have so many other responsibilities." he trailed off.

Jaina scowled. "Bigger responsibilities than talking care of your own child?" she asked raising her voice slightly.

Zekk pondered this. Noah should be his biggest responsibility right now, shouldn't he? He looked down feeling ashamed. Noah began to cry so he handed him back to Jaina who rocked him until he stopped.

"I want to stay here, you know I do." Zekk told Jaina, looking into her eyes.

She stood up and put Noah in his crib. Then she came back and sat down next to Zekk again. It was silent for another moment.

"Gods, Jaina, I just don't know what to say to you." Zekk said, finding himself at a loss for words. Jaina also could not find the words to express how she felt.

"I'm so sorry, Jaina," Zekk finally managed to say. He took Jaina's hand in his. "But I can't stay here. I'm just not ready to be a father yet. " Zekk saw the tears forming in Jaina's eyes and he immediately felt horrible.

"I guess you should have thought about that before." Jaina said in a voice restrained with emotion. She pulled her hand away from Zekks grasp.

"I - " Zekk began, but Jaina cut him off.

"You think I'm ready to be a mother?" she yelled.

"I know you're not, Jaina, but-"

Jaina cut him off again. "Zekk, you're 20 years old. That's not such a young age to have a baby. But I'm 17 and that is!" She let herself cal down. "Don't you understand that?" she whispered.

I do Jaina and I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." He too had tears coming to his eyes, but he held them back.

"You never could live up to your mistakes, could you?" she stood up and began to walk away.

Zekk stood too, grabbing her wrist to stop her.

"Jaina!" He yelled.

Jaina spun around, surprised that he raised his voice at her, as well as grabbed her so roughly that she feared she might have bruises.

"What kind of a comment was that?" He asked in a hurt tone. The baby was crying now, disturbed by Zekk's yelling.

"Answer me," He said after a moment which she didn't respond.

"It was a true one." She said, yanking her hand away, walking towards the baby's crib.

But again, Zekk grabbed her, this time by her upper arm, pulling her back and turning her around to face him. He grabbed her other arm with his other hand and pulled her close to him, doing all of this in a quick movement. He stared down at her with fire and anger in his eyes, and she stared up at him with fear in hers.

"Let me go, the baby's crying." Jaina said, never looking away from Zekks glare.

Zekk loosened his grip slightly as he saw the fear in Jaina's eyes. She looked more afraid than he'd ever seen her, as if she really thought he would actually physically hurt her.

He let her go with a slight shove away from him. Jaina walked quickly to Noah's crib and lifted him into her arms. She cradled him and kissed the top of his head, whispering incomprehensible words of comfort to him. Zekk just watched as Jaina calmed the baby until he stopped crying. She held him a little longer, then layed him down again.

Once Noah was safely in his crib, Jaina stared over at Zekk, still not believing what had just happened. Zekk's touch had never been so rough. Even when he was being stern with her in the past, his touch, his grasp had always been so gentle. Never, since Jaina had known him, had he been so rough.

Zekk stood, not believing it either. He held out his hands before him, staring down at them. He couldn't believe he had just been so careless with someone who he loved so much. He looked over at Jaina, who was staring at him, fear, anger, and tears still in her eyes. Zekk crossed to her. He reached out to touch her, but she flinched and backed away.

Zekk didn't understand this. He took another step forward, saying her name, but still, she backed away from him. Jaina now pressed her back against the baby's crib, with no more room left to go.

Zekk lifted his hand to brush Jaina's cheek, but again she flinched just before his hand touched her rosebud skin. She still had fear in her eyes and Zekk understood now that she was afraid of him.

Zekk felt guilt come over him like a wave upon dry sand. Tears were continuously falling from Jaina's face. She was crying. Zekk hated to see her cry. Especially when he was the main reason she was crying, which he often was. He had let her down so many times, made her cry so many times. And he had never really apologized or made up for it. Like when he had turned to the Dark Side, or when he had left the academy to become a bounty hunter, all the time's he had left her then. And now.all the things he had done to her now. Got her pregnant and almost physically hurt her.

Zekks mind was going crazy. He had no idea what to do. Would he only frighten her more if her held her close to him? Something he wanted to do so badly. Should he leave her alone? Should he apologize? He just didn't know what to do!

Jaina no longer felt safe. Usually she always felt safe when Zekk was around. But she was afraid now, feeling like she had no where to go, no one to turn to. She knew she never should have brought Zekk here. She never should have told him.

"Get out." She said softly, her voice hoarse and raspy.

Zekk slowly shook his head, bringing his other hand up to Jaina's face.

"I said get out." Jaina said, louder this time, trying as best she could to avoid his touch.

"Get out!" she screamed. Zekk backed away from the frightened, shaking Jaina. He backed out of the room and turned around, running to his ship. Again he felt tears come to his eyes, but he fought them back. He wanted to take back all that had just happened.

Zekk burst out of the Great Temple and onto the landing field. He sprinted to his ship, boarded it, and started it up. He lifted it off the ground and flew up into the sky, out of the atmosphere, into space. Once he was in orbit, he slumped back in his pilot's chair, finally letting the tears flow.

"What have I done?" he asked himself aloud.

Jaina, holding Noah, stood at a window and watched Zekks ship disappear into the night sky. As soon as she could no longer see it, she took Noah to her room, where his spare crib was so he could sleep with her while she was on her visits home.

On her way to her room, Jaina encountered Jacen. He saw how much she had been crying and sensed something wrong. "Jaina, what happened? Where's Zekk?" He asked her.

"He's gone," Jaina told him as she walked past.

Jacen turned to follow her, trying to keep up with her angry pace. "Why that rotten, spineless son of a Sith."Jacen hissed under his breath. Jaina reached her room and Jacen followed her in." It's okay, Jace." Jaina told him. "I don't want him to come back."

"But Jaina," Jacen said. "You need his help. I mean look at you, you're a mess.

"Of course I need his help, Jacen," Jaina explained, handing Noah to him as she got out the baby's pajamas. "But Zekk doesn't want to help, and I can't force him."

"No, but it would be the adult thing for him to do." Jacen pointed out. "He obviously made a huge mistake that he's going to have to live with for the rest of his life."

Jaina thought a moment. She was so confused. She wanted Zekk to come back, but she never wanted to see him again all at the same time. She shook her head. She just didn't know who he was anymore. She wanted the old Zekk back. The Zekk who would care.

"Well no matter what Zekk does or doesn't do," Jacen said after a moment, "I'll always be your brother and I'll always be here to help you."

"Thank you," Jaina said. She took Noah back. "Goodnight, Jacen."

"Goodnight," he said, kissing Noah on the head and hugging Jaina.

After he left the room, Jaina got Noah ready for bed, and herself. As she was laying him down in his crib, he looked up at her with his bright green eyes that were Zekks. Tears began rolling down Jaina's cheeks before she could even try to prevent them. She did want Zekk to come back. With all her heart. She sobbed and walked over to her window. She stared up at the stars. "Come back." she whispered.

Crying, she threw herself upon her bed and cried herself to sleep.

* * * * * *

It was late on Yavin IV, approaching 3:00 am. Zekk crept silently into the Great Temple. He made his way up to Jaina's room. He slowly climbed up the winding temple stairs, careful not to make too much noise. He tiptoed past Jacens room, past Luke and Mara's quarters, and up to Jaina's door. Slowly he turned the knob and opened the door. He peeked in and saw Jaina, asleep in her bed, on her side with her back facing him. Zekk walked in and quietly shut the door behind him. He looked to his left and saw Noah's crib where the baby slept like an angel. He walked over to his son and looked in the crib. He stared down at the sleeping Noah and smiled.

Jaina stirred and Zekk looked up to see that she rolled onto her back. He walked over to her and sat down on the bed next to her. Her looked at her, brushing a hand across her cheek and through her hair. She seemed to glow in the darkness of the room. Jaina inhaled deeply, disturbed by his touch, and her eyes slowly fluttered open. Zekk gently smiled down at her. She didn't react, or say anything at all, just stared up at Zekk.

After a long moment, Jaina spoke. "You came back." She said quietly.

Zekk nodded. "I had to. I couldn't bear to leave things undone like that. Not again." He paused. "Never again."

Jaina smiled and Zekk leaned down to kiss her. Their lips touched and it felt so right to Jaina. Her heart beat faster, pounding up against her chest. Their lips separated and they just held each other close.

"I'm so sorry," Zekk whispered in her ear as he held her body close to him.

Jaina didn't say anything, just let Zekk hold her. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "I love you," He told her. "And I will stay here with you, because I can't let you do this alone. Not when I'm the reason. Not when it's my fault."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Jaina told him. "Noah is our child. He's our fault. Not yours, not mine.ours."

Zekk leaned down to kiss her again. "I'm not so sure if this was a mistake anymore. Noah wasn't any ones fault." He told her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

" Maybe this was the kind of thing we needed to happen to us. It brought us together, like we should be."

"You're right." Jaina said. "It's our destiny, isn't it?"

Zekk nodded, "I can feel it." He whispered, again, kissing her softly.

The two of them stayed together, just holding each other until the sun began to rise. They watched the stars disappear, just like all their fears and uncertainties. Zekk kissed the top of Jaina's head and said "I love you."

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